Eden – inspired by la culebra – 11of30

i’m behind a day…but here goes my first attempt at a Pantoum.  feel free to critique n comment. 🙂

Pantoum: A form of verse in which the second and fourth lines of each quatrain verse are repeated as the first and third lines of the following verse. This pattern continues for any number of stanzas, except for the final stanza, which differs in the repeating pattern. The first and third lines of the last stanza are the second and fourth of the peniultimate; the first line of the poem is the last line of the final stanza, and the third line of the first stanza is the second of the final.

Eden

i am a foolish woman, believing in faeries, angels and honesty

as if truth took shape and form like humans and beasts

as if i grew from a rib, sightless and full of marrow

stumbling forward into madness, i grab hold of words to weave a lifeline

 

 

As if truth took shape and form like humans and beasts

God rested on the seventh day believing we could mind ourselves

stumbling forward into madness, i grab hold of words to weave a lifeline

for me, for us all, perhaps we shouldn’t have been left in paradise

 

 

God rested on the seventh day believing we could mind ourselves

it would have been nice to be asked, no choice given, we chose the forbidden

for me, for us all, perhaps we shouldn’t have been left in paradise

Genesis, has two creation stories, one for sinners and one for saints

 

 

it would have been nice to be asked, no choice given, we chose the forbidden

as if i grew from a rib, sightless and full of marrow

Genesis, has two creation stories, one for sinners and one for saints

i am a foolish woman, believing in faeries, angels and honesty

6 thoughts on “Eden – inspired by la culebra – 11of30

  1. I love that you tried out a pantoum. And I love the result.

    “stumbling forward into madness, i grab hold of words to weave a lifeline”- your words are your lifeline and the lines of your life…

    • at first it was really hard. like my brain is wierd and i don’t do well with “word problems” and that’s kinda how i felt about the description of a pantoum; that it was one giant fucked up poetic word problem lol.

      but i just studied what you did and kept at it. so thanks lol i feel like i’m learning more about poetry from your blog this month than i have in my entire life.
      hehe
      no gas
      en serio!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s