Books + Movie / Hot Chicks = Slippery Shelf Sunday. NSFW

this is a post that must be written in loose cotton sweats while having a beer for breakfast. And smiling about it because it’s exactly what needs to happen in this moment because all your other upcoming moments are already scheduled, mapped out and distributed to every other crew member on the same gig.

sunday is a good day for sex. grey light, overcast, sleepy but focused cuz when the switch flips, it’s go time. smoke trees. make out. not even fully awake, in that other perfect place. her pressed to your. sunday is a day of worship. worship the body. worship the side of yourself and someone else or multiple others that often get over looked cuz there is SO MUCH TO DO. worship the temple into which you were born. often enough there is more time for god during the week anyway.

enough. sex and god are two things I could wax on about forever. now for: los books.

*Note: As in my last post, this is just a random list of books. the books happen to fall in the same category. i stand by my shit though…

1) Lesbian Pulp Fiction: The Sexually Intrepid World of Lesbian Paperback Novels 1950-1965, selected and introduced by Katherine V. Forrest.

I knowww every lesbian you know has this book on her coffee table, Ikea bookshelf and/or bathroom toilet just to be tongue in cheek. BUT, have you actually read them? They’re surprisingly perfect for 1950s era lesbian sex tales. each novella frames its narrative around the idea that lesbianism is the ultimate taboo which in my reality is a feeling that doesn’t exist so much anymore. obvs, i live in new york and i’m a lesbian and no one gives a shit. so to think of my reality as something with mythic levels of indecency associated with it is a turn on, the QUEERness being palpable is erotic. The idea that lesbian bars were at one point more like speakeasys where secret knocks were needed to gain entrance and red lights were used as warning signs, adds some mafia glamor to the whole deal. i know it was dangerous for women back then and still is dangerous for women around the world to be lesbians. i get that but this is pulp fiction and the danger is supposed to be thrilling. That being said like all other compilations, it has some pieces that drag and some that require a moment of self reflection…

2) The Locas graphic novel series created by Jaime Hernandez.

Ok so Jaime Hernandez is definitely not a woman but he is still so brilliant at stringing together a love story. The tense chemistry felt in the never perfect lovesex thang between characters Maggie and Hopey is so My-So-Called Life meets Mi Vida Loca meets sexy graphic novel. It’s seriously like my queer nerd version of being addicted to las novellas like my great grandma, grandma and at one point even my mom with her All My Children addiction but better. Cuz I say so and cuz everyone has sex, crazy ass mega sex, in the world of Las Locas which is part of a greater and never ending series entitled “Love and Rockets” by the Hernandez Brothers.

The thing is that unlike straight up romance novels or dirty mags, the Locas series and Love and Rockets actually have solid, detailed and trippy plots. They suit the need for something visual to remove place and add dimension. the words match up to ones needed for intrigue, mystery, something said that isn’t always said by everyone else. the comic bubbles for dialogue are often vast expanses of text over sky, written in shaky lettering to evoke tremulous emotion, the way you wish words could sometimes manifest. time moves forward from one frame and into another reality in the next, yet all the characters seem to exist in the same bizarre universe and it’s up to the readers to keep track, if they choose to. so good i’m not even writing complete or fully functional sentences. then turn the page and there’s someone getting done doggy in a color panel and a pair of breasts and you remember you’re on the subway and slap the book closed before anyone thinks you’re an intentional public pervert. don’t forget the graphic in graphic novel, people. also, happy heteros there’s an abundance of your freaky ish within the pages of Love and Rockets to last a lifetime. Own the series here, now, just do it.

pulp fiction, graphic novels, there’s a part of me that wants to scrap a third and share my fave camp-action movie with you…

i think i’m just going to do that. besides, i haven’t finished reading the collection that inspired this blog post in the first place. right now the work i’m attempting to digest from a specific writer is killing me, like leaving me gutted, head spinning, sexually combative… don’t even know what to do with myself but like i said, i haven’t finished it. so i won’t write about it.

CLIFFHANGER.

in the end, as always, to put forth my best efforts in delightful bad taste with breasts, fast cars and irreverence in mind

Numero 33333333333 – The Trick Choice cuz it’s a MOVIE.

Bitch Slap (2009) available on instant netflix

I know, trust me, terrible AND it’s written and produced by men. So a thousand million lesbians just walked off shaking their heads in disgust. SO FINE be that way. BUT, inside of me rages someone that loves hot chicks, fast cars and explosions. I don’t necessarily care to be involved in any of that when it’s about some muscle bound dude trying to save the world or his bike club or the drug stash or whatever bullshit action movie plot thing.

but when it’s badass chicas holding the guns, doing the fighting, wearing the miniskirts, it’s a totally different experience.

Confession: Bitch Slap lacks in the following departments.

1) Acting

2) Dialogue

3) Plot

That being said, acknowledged and notarized, it excels in trashy awesomeness.

Bitch Slap follows Trixie, Hel and Camaro as they attempt a complicated diamond heist against one of the world’s perviest DRUG KING PINS!!! dun dun duuunnnn.

What follows is a deranged jaunt into guns, bigger guns, breasts, bigger breasts, impossible fight scenes, terrible special effects and some truly in your face lesbian love moments. The best part in this little film is that amidst all the bullshit, boys and blood, there is little bit of hot honest lesbianism between two of the bombshells. The ripped blouses, torn skirts and brutal fist fights make for some seriously pause worthy moments in a frenetic cavalcade of terrible throwback 70s cinema sleaze.

Give me a budget and I can make one better, I promise.

so two books and a movie sounds like a sunday morning too. all ways to begin an afternoon interlude and to end one. you can name your baby after me.

or just call out my name.

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