x- eat McDonalds after midnight.
x- wake up four mornings in a row curled up with computer
x- write about everything except feelings
x- stuff mouth to shut out anxiety
x- check phone. check phone. check phone. phone. phone. check.
x- tell one person more than one statement of truth.
x- feel exhumed.
x- acknowledge reflection through toothpaste-stained bathroom mirror only.
x- soak yellow sponge in a bowl. 2/3 water. 1/3 hydrogen peroxide.
x- analyze relationship to ethnicity while watching Friends.
x- read strange sentiments on lesbians via bell hooks.
x- control substance intake.
x- lick lips hoping for residue.
x- eat meat as if it didn’t come from animals.
x- keep no commitments.
x- read all of the books until one finishes me.
x- press love letter onto pages of the Bible.
x- rub cocoa butter lotion onto broke wide open flesh
x- watch Intervention. watch Intervention. watch Intervention.
x- measure gut from hips to thighs while sitting.
x- regret not writing down everything that has ever happened next to every word ever said and all the thoughts had.
x- read alison bechdel and recognize crazy is genius and the rest of us are intermediate at best.
x- laugh about that time.