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Thank you, Robin
Love this love. I hope everyone in class reads your beautiful words, Stefanie
Julián, this piece is everything it needs to be. It’s a reflection on grief, chosen family, and breaking bread in community. Loved this line: The kind of recipes that have no actual measurements but require you to consider what is a pinch in terms of the size of your relative’s hands.
Here are some elevation notes if you choose to expand the piece:
Go into greater and more specific/emotional detail in your cooking instructions. What does warmth feel like? What makes a home a warm place? Who are the chose family members and why did you choose them? There’s room to expand and make this piece more specific to you and the family of your dreams.
In the first section, give us insight into why you’re begging for sanctuary. Give more specific details to what that sanctuary looks and feels like. Use colors, name names, envision it and share that on the page.Amar, your writing thrives in this style. It’s music essay and memoir and a little bit of coming of age all enveloped in one piece. Lead with this in your writing. It’s so good. Vulnerability and real life reflections flow easily. It’s super relatable.
Loved this: In this life that constantly demands you to move on to the next thing, it’s essential to make space for the stillness of a moment.
I’d love to see you tie it into the often lifelong relationships we can have with someone and their music/art like why this commitment to juanga & other artists (not just going from new song to new song etc) serves your spirit: In this life that constantly demands you to move on to the next thing
Elevation Notes: Whatever documentaries or interviews you’ve seen about Juan Gabriel. Watch them again. Bring the details and life/history facts from them into this piece. They will tether this piece to his life and yours. Bring the colors from his outfits into the piece and the colors you feel most alive in. Expand the piece before you do any edits.
Stefanie, this is exquisite. Like all across the board, absolutely beautiful. You have the gift. The writing spirit is within you and on the page. Keep honoring the spirit and yourself. This line is a perfect representation of the importance of specific details and how they uplift every sentence: Use a pot that holds memory. Whether its the pot you use to rinse your child’s hair during her bath or the pot she bangs on when she’s testing how loudly she can take up space. My only elevation note is to go through and take out some of those “Yous”. Most of them aren’t needed and the ones you choose to keep in will stand out. You can cut some of your sentences in half to make two really strong sentences. But really, you’ve got the magic and I’m so thankful you’re sharing your writing with us.
Maria, this is such a deeply emotional piece. Thank you for being so vulnerable in your writing and with us in class. The steps are a standout element. They encourage the reader to follow them, as well as allowing insight into what’s most important in your life. This is excellent drafting by the way, like exactly what needs to get down on the page before some editing & revising. An elevation note for you would be: Weave in more details. Name the play, the awards. Let the details add depth to the writing. When it comes to the ingredients, tell us how much love to give and when, etc. Keep it specific to you and your family/needs. There is still much left to write and release. You’ve got this.
October 21, 2025 at 6:04 pm in reply to: That’s a Threat Not a Promise: The Recipe for Embodying Aunt Louise #2302Nyx, like I said in class, you have the gift. Your writing voice is deeply authentic and full of power. Lines like this are a testament to that power: She had sweat that rolled off her face and hands, like wisdom expelling from the body. That is an incredible line. Fill everything you write with lines like that wherever you can. The choices you make with details are exquisite. For example: To satisfy her hunger, I offer her the tenderness of collard greens with Louisiana hot sauce. Using the word ‘tenderness’ here fills the line with love and once again showcases your connection with the writing spirit. Love this prayer and recipe. Thank you for sharing your work.
Stefanie, this is excellent character work. You really dug deep into the details of your Wela Carmen and crafted a perfect snapshot of her. Love the mix of the spiritual and the real life moments too. The imagery of her room filled to the brim with candles and saints and other items combined with visits from the newly dead allow us to feel the enormity of your grandmother’s presence and power at the same time. Loved this: Her bedroom was my escape from my father’s anger, even though it was a classic hoarder case with floor to ceiling boxes surrounded by Botanica statues of saints and santos. I sat at the edge of her twin sized bed as we watched her novelas, eyeing the forbidden caramelos she left out for them with shots of rum. I didn’t get why statues needed offerings of wrapped caramelos they would never touch.
Nyx, this is an excellent recollection of your auntie. The details are crisp and specific. The camel cigarettes and the Jack Daniels mixed with bbq wings are work together to create a perfect snapshot of a real person, living her life as she pleases. You’ve got the writing magic, Nyx.
Julián, this is breathtaking. Searing, profound and so deeply vulnerable and honest. Like at every turn you weave in the emotions, the unique details of your experience and the greater life questions this has left you with. What a glorious piece of writing. I loved all of this: Ferrufina Martínez Uclés: mi madre biológica. A veces siento que siempre he estado persiguiendo a una fantasma. Gracias por darme vida, mi cerebro y convicción. No se si nunca nos vamos a reconectar, pero debes de saber que siempre has estado conmigo.– this reads like a prayer. Just stunning all around. Thank you for sharing your writing with us.
Stefanie, this is excellent. Your voice is authentic and rooted in strength, vulnerability and truth. Love it all. Love the specific moments you lay out for us, to really put the reader in your life and make us laugh: I put ketchup on my pasteles. I can even makes that life changing lasagna just as good as you ever did. And there’s so much beauty in the writing too: Your Bronx was on literal fire, while mine choked on lingering invisible smoke. I wasn’t going to be another forgotten girl from the forgotten borough, so that train became my escape to the horizon. I think my main questions are: What happened with the mom?? Is she an ex-drug addict turned Evangelical? Was there a falling out about queerness? Some moments were just a touch unclear but that’s an easy fix, just a clarifying line here and there would fill those little voids. You got this!
Maria, this letter is a testament to grief and longing. The mother wound cuts so deep. Love the imagery of a 10 year old in grief counseling, trying to figure out their feelings. Loved every question. There’s such a tangible urgency in all of it, like the desire to truly know the mother’s journey is palpable. I wanted to know more about Yuri’s queer journey, so maybe alongside the questions, there could be moments where she shares those snapshots about herself and gives to her mother what she wishes her mother could give to her. This section is so beautiful: I know you didn’t finish high school, I think you only went up to 6th grade, but I wonder what you would have thought of Gloria Anzaldua had you known about her. A Chicana lesbian from the Valley in Texas. There were so many others like you, a brown queer Mexican girl; you were not alone. I hope you knew that.
Amar, did you revise this version? I re-read the first one and they’re pretty much identical. I think you could have expanded on this work with what we wrote in class last week and from the comments I shared on the first draft. I appreciate your work overall and still think this is a very thoughtful and solid letter.
Hi Robin, this letter has such good bones. Really appreciated the movement in the ancestor’s childhood story: being abandoned, finding work as a maid, and so on. In another draft, those are great places to add more specific details. I wish there was more about Dawn, like what she’s passionate about and why she’s a sin vergüenza. What is impractical about her wanting the next generation to be better? How does that make her a Sin Vergüenza? Also what is the connection to Puerto Rico from your end and how does that take root in Dawn? Just some good stuff to think about. Thanks so much for sharing your work!
Robin, this is such a fun piece. Love how dedicated Dawn is to her wife and baby. Her protector energy is rooted in absolute love & devotion. That was great. Excited to see more of it, especially in the moments where Dawn gets vulnerable in her thoughts. One thing, you open with the Abuelita being the root to sin vergüenza for Dawn but then she’s meeting her Tia. Maybe choose one and move her from start to finish, maybe she even joins them at the restaurant just in time to see Dawn in action. Either way, thank you for this.
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